Lies are a little fortress; inside them you can feel safe and powerful.
Through your little fortress of lies you try to run your life and manipulate others.
But the fortress needs walls, so you build some. These are the justifications for your lies.
You know, like you are doing this to protect someone you love, to keep them from feeling pain. Whatever works, just so you feel okay about the lies. – William Paul Young
Dishonesty is a trait that most of us have no problem pointing out in others.
We feel a sense of anger, disgust, and mistrust towards those who try to deceive us. In fact, deception is such a dishonorable quality to us that we spend large amounts of our time reading about shady politicians and watching shows that center around lying and cheating characters.
Secretly, it feels good to point the finger at others because it makes us feel morally righteous.
But here’s the truth:
at the end of the day, most of us fail to see that we also lie to ourselves frequently.
Sadly, most people aren’t willing to explore their hidden tendencies and face the truth. Deception is such a despicable quality that we would rather disown it than face it honestly.
Unfortunately, the more we disown our darker tendencies, the more deeply we bury them within our Shadow Selves, and the more delusional we become.
And the more delusional we are, the less mental and emotional clarity we have, which leads to a legion of problems. Some of these problems are life-destroying.
4 REASONS WHY WE LIE TO OURSELVES
If deceit is such a contemptible quality, why do we lie to ourselves? Here are a few reasons why:
It’s comfortable; you don’t have to face the hard truth
It’s convenient; you can keep doing the same thing without having to change anything
It makes you feel better about yourself (preserves self-esteem)
It helps you to avoid self-responsibility for your actions
Recommended: How To Detect Lies With Intuition
For example, a man who cheats on his wife may justify his actions by saying, If only she had given me more affection and love, I wouldn’t have strayed. This justification, of course, is a form of self-deception because it prevents the man from fully coming to terms with what he has done.
Furthermore, lying to himself helps him to preserve the belief that he’s a good and faithful person.
EXAMPLES OF SELF-DECEPTION
The following examples might help to deepen your understanding of self-deception more. See if you can relate to any of these examples:
Example 1: A woman gets a high-paying attorney job at a popular firm. After months in her job, she begins to experience chronic illness and panic attacks. Convinced that she’s just going through a bout of bad health, she continues working in her high-stress job until she has a nervous breakdown.
Example 2: A man is in a relationship with a woman who he believes is his soulmate. The man continues to believe that the woman loves him, even after she has repeatedly told him that she wants to break up.
Example 3: A student is preparing for a college exam. He finds himself frequently procrastinating and keeps telling himself that he’s not in the mood to study. He then takes the exam and fails. In reality, he was procrastinating because he was scared of the pressure that comes with good grades.
Example 4: A woman has joined a local church. She loves hearing sermons about love, acceptance, and compassion. But after the ceremonies, she observes that the fellow churchgoers are judgmental, racist, and narrow-minded. She turns a blind eye on the behavior of these people, convincing herself that she is on the right moral path.
Example 5: A man decides to become a monk. He believes that his choice comes from the desire to live a religious life. In reality, his choice comes from the desire to escape his problems.
Example 6: A couple loves to travel. But it isn’t traveling to other countries that they really enjoy; it is escaping from their inner sense of emptiness.
Example 7: An entrepreneur keeps being offered amazing opportunities to expand her business, but she turns them all down. She keeps saying, I don’t have time, and I have too much work. The truth is that she’s scared to expand because she lacks self-confidence.
9 SIGNS THAT YOU’RE LYING TO YOURSELF
Are you lying to yourself? Answering this question can be hard because our self-deception is so often unconscious.
But if you suspect that you might be lying to yourself, congratulate yourself! It takes a tremendous amount of courage and self-awareness to even entertain the possibility.
Recommended: The Easiest 5 Ways To Spot A Fake Nice Person
It can be scary to own up to the fact that you might be deceiving yourself, but this honesty will take you far on your spiritual path.
Here are some signs you should look out for:
1. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE RUNNING AWAY FROM SOMETHING
It’s hard to admit but you feel like you’re trying to escape something; maybe a thought, a realization, a harsh truth? Something is lurking in the darkness, and you don’t like it. You feel the need to escape, but you don’t know why.
2. YOU KEEP JUSTIFYING OTHER PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOR
In order to evade the truth, you find yourself making excuses for other people and their bad behavior. For example, you might tell yourself that your emotionally abusive husband is just blowing off steam from work or that your backstabbing friend just made a stupid mistake.
Justifying other people’s behavior is much easier than facing the truth and making hard decisions.
3. YOU KEEP JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR
I didn’t hurt him, I just taught him a lesson, I don’t hate my career, I’m just feeling a little stressed, I can’t move, I have no other option,I’m not terrified of moving out of my comfort zone, I’m just busy with commitments.
Recommended: 5 Spiritual Boundaries To Push Every Day
Self-justification is deceptive: on one hand it makes us believe that we have a good reason, but on the other hand, that reason is blatant bullshit. Unconsciously we know that we’re just making excuses, but consciously we’re oblivious.
4. YOU HAVE A RIGID ATTITUDE
You cannot accept blame or responsibility for anything that has happened, instead, other people are always to blame. This tendency to perceive yourself as always being right, and others as always wrong, hides a tremendous amount of fear.
Beneath the narrow-mindedness, you’re secretly afraid of answering to the truth, so in an attempt to escape reality, you form rigid mental barriers and point the finger at others.
5. YOU FEEL INAUTHENTIC
You can’t seem to shake the feeling that you’re a fake or sham. Inside of you, there is a sense that you’ve lost touch with who you really are. You go places you don’t want to go.
You make friends with people you don’t like. You buy things you can’t afford. You laugh when the joke isn’t funny. You don’t know what makes you happy or who you really want to be in life anymore.
6. YOU PREFER TO WEAR ROSE-TINTED GLASSES
You prefer to live in a dream world rather than in reality. For example, in your relationships, you project your fantasies onto your partner, believing that everything is fine, even when it isn’t.
The idealist in you believes that you can make everything work out, but your idealism is a form of escapism that obscures the truth. In order to buffer yourself against the harsh realities of life, you prefer to see the world in a naive way.
7. YOU DON’T LIKE LISTENING TO OTHER’S ADVICE
When a friend, colleague, or family member gives you a fresh perspective on your situation, you immediately close off. Feelings such as anger, sadness, and irritation are triggered within you, often causing you to lash out at the poor soul who dares to help you.
Why does this happen? When you are lying to yourself, you will tend to only favor others who reassure you, not challenge you. Anyone who challenges you, even with the best of intentions, poses a risk to exposing your elaborate self-fabricated lie.
8. YOU CARRY AROUND DEEPLY-ROOTED ANXIETY
No matter what you do, you feel a sense of subtle unease and insecurity following you everywhere. This pervasive sense of unease causes you to constantly second-guess yourself and privately wonder if you really are doing the right thing or making the best decisions.
Sometimes this deeply-rooted anxiety may manifest as a sense of guilt that you do not want to face and try to bury.
9. YOUR HEART CONTRADICTS YOUR MIND
You keep trying to convince yourself that everything is fine and you’re in control, when emotionally, you are a wreck. You might find yourself exploding in anger at others or trying to hide your tears, and you might wonder where such emotions came from.
If you are extremely disconnected from your heart, you might find your emotions manifesting in your body instead. You mind might believe that everything is peachy, when your body is suffering from tension, high blood pressure, infections, and other afflictions.
HOW TO STOP LYING TO YOURSELF
We all lie to ourselves: no one is excluded. In fact, self-deception is part of being human, and in a sense, is necessary for our inner growth.
If you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about this topic, you’re not alone. I have caught myself in self-deception many times, and it isn’t an enjoyable experience.
However, for any true soul work to occur, we must all honestly take a look at ourselves. Lies only serve to alienate ourselves from the truth of who we are.
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Source: lonerwolf
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Liu Jian이 Liu Jie가 Huangjinzhou에 간다는 것을 알았다면 아마 너무 화가 났을 것입니다.
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“류 내시의 대부가 베이징으로 돌아왔다. 그는 … 방문 휴가를 요청했다.”
포츈 래빗
이를 생각하면 지난 며칠간 Fang Jifan의 짜증이 갑자기 일어났습니다.
에그벳 주소
Shen Ao가받은 것은 Bingding 번호 였고 그는이 표지판을 손에 들고 조금 멍해졌습니다!
에그슬롯
잠시 후 여러 내시가 여러 도구를 가져왔습니다.
에그벳 주소
이 이틀 동안 Xiao Jing은 도시의 여관에서만 살았고 매일 방황했습니다.
라이즈 오브 올림푸스
“여기서 무슨 일이 있었는지, 이 편지를 포함해서 공개하지 마세요!”
북 오브 데드
놀이터와 가깝기 때문에 많은 관광객들이 멀리서 볼 수 있습니다.
카이센 윈즈
최고 군사 장교 인 Xu Pengju를 제외하고는 황실이 Luzon에 올 사람을 찾기가 정말 어려웠 기 때문입니다.
슬롯 커뮤
한린학원은 최근 분위기가 이전보다 활발해졌다.
레거시 오브 데드
그러나 이제 Fang Jifan은 자신이 Xiao Jing과 공모했다는 사실을 인정하기보다는 사형을 감수할 위험을 무릅쓰고 있습니다.
슬롯 게임 추천
모두 기절한 ‘수감자’를 바라보며 무의식적으로 고개를 저었다.
Adding value to the conversation in a way that’s as engaging as a flirtatious wink. Can’t wait to hear more.
슈가 러쉬
Fang Jifan은 Zhu Houzhao가 황제가 된 후 비열하고 배은망덕할 것이라고 생각한 것이 아닙니다.
The posts inspire me regularly. The depth you bring to The topics is truly exceptional.
777 슬롯
그것은 단지… 반달 연속으로 이 수도에 비가 내리지 않았습니다.
The consistency and high quality of The content are something I really appreciate. Thank you for The dedication.
에그벳 주소
Xiao Jing은 다리를 절뚝거리며 바닥에 무릎을 꿇고 뺨을 때렸습니다. 그는…말이 없었습니다.
트레져스 오브 아즈텍
마차에 앉아 홍지황제는 마차 밖에서 셀 수 없이 많은 환호를 느낄 수 있었습니다.
This post is packed with useful insights. Thanks for sharing The knowledge!
The Writing is a constant source of inspiration and knowledge, like a muse that never fails to inspire. Thank you for being my muse.
This piece was beautifully written and incredibly informative. Thank you for sharing!
The unique perspective is as intriguing as a mystery novel. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.
카지노 슬롯
어린 주인이 나오는 것을 보고 모두들 신이 나서 아이를 업고 떠났습니다.
온라인 슬롯 사이트 추천
Liu Jin은 Zhu Houzhao와 Fang Jifan 옆에 행복하게 서있었습니다.
메가 슬롯 사이트
그러므로 그들이 폐하에게 주는 첫인상은 매우 중요합니다.따라서 공무원을 뽑을 때 젊은 한린이 큰 이점이 있다.
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The post provoked a lot of thought and taught me something new. Thank you for such engaging content.