“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”- Eckhart Tolle
Whether it’s a missed opportunity, a bad relationship, a choice we should have made or simply something that made us feel dumb, dwelling in regret consumes a large amount of our time and energy.
It has been thought, that the reason we regret so many things is because we have an idealized version of ourselves that we wish to live up to at all times.
To put it into perspective, we all think that we are 100% good people and when we do things that don’t reflect the most positive aspects of ourselves, we deem that we’ve fallen short in some way. But, when we can let go of these ideals and embrace the gravity and reality of life, we then free ourselves from the illusion of “perfection”.
So embrace your dark side, it is where your creativity flows from, accept yourself both “good and evil” and find balance between the two.
2. Blaming other people for your problems
Each person in your life is a teacher. Each experience in your life is a lesson. Living is like looking into a mirror– every teacher is you. Every event and ever relationship reflects yourself. Although we do not consciously perceive this, at some level we all know that life shows us what we need to learn.
When we blame others for our problems we are shifting the attention away from ourselves and avoiding our own healing. The more we avoid ourselves the larger our problems become and the more we fall into “victim mentality”which can be a very troubling situation.
3. Victim Mentality
Alan Watts, believed that you always have two choices, you can either define yourself as a victim of the world, or you can come to understand that you are the world.
When we understand that everything we see around us, including our relationships, our homes, standard of living, the clothes we wear– everything, is an absolute reflection of our inner world, we see how much healing we need to accomplish. If your life is a mess, you are in an unhappy marriage or a dead-end career we should take note that something is off-balance inside.
When we are out of balance, we feel like we have no control over our circumstances and we end up repeating the same patterns without consciously understanding why we do it. This is why so many people don’t know how to help themselves.
It’s becomes too difficult to determine what the root cause of, or where the beginning of the cycle started.
By making the unconscious conscious and illuminating the hidden aspects of our minds we are able to bring unresolved memories forward for healing and release.
So look around you and find all of things in your life that you are completely fed up with. Find the things that insult your soul, and know that this is where your healing needs to happen.
“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to thinker what he thinks into it” – Ernest Holmes
Whether it is a negative judgement we hold about ourselves or a judgement we place on another, judgements of any kind have the same root cause.